You know what they say about the best laid plans… This was supposed to be the “Summer of Fabulosity” (at least according to my therapist). We made a long, color coded, sticker decorated list of things I was going to do to help me try to dig out of the mental pit I was laying in. Instead, I sit here with August looming closer and closer…and a long list of “should haves.”
I should have gone to that Plus Size Pool Party, but I didn’t. I should have painted the kitchen, but I didn’t. I should have walked on the treadmill consistently, but I didn’t. I should have joined a book club, but I didn’t. I should have gone out and created content that excited me, but I didn’t. All I did was sit inside and read, wishing that I didn’t feel so lonely, anxious, and useless. It was decidedly UNfabulous.
I guess I didn’t realize that I had actually written so few posts this year. Two. That’s it… two.
I’m not certain WHY I feel so stuck creating things. I really do enjoy creating content and encouraging other people to feel comfortable in their hearts and bodies. I think I just struggle with feeling like a poser when I put it out into the world. I feel like I have to apologize for myself when I am out filming, taking notes, or asking anyone to indulge in engaging with the content I create. I don’t want to be the Temu version of anything else. I want people to like what I do, and ultimately like ME.
There’s a long list of blog ideas roaming in my brain queue, but I’m struggling to find inspiration to follow through with them. Will people find the stuff useful or interesting? Are these ideas unique or at least give a fresh perspective? Will another brand ever be interested in working with me again? How do I attract attention without going broke? Where do I find the moxie to get out there and do the things? Do any of my thoughts below pique your interest?
- Fashion: Ideas on fashion, specifically for those who feel like they have been left out of fashionable spaces. (plus size thrifting, plus size brick and mortar shopping, fashion regrets, sizing woes, teacher style, mood dressing)
- Fat Advocacy: How to create safe spaces for all bodies to exist. (my body acceptance story, anti-fat bias, how to clap back at the diet industry, fat-positive champions, why representation matters)
- Fat-Positive Book Reviews: Continuing my series on books that put positive and thriving fat characters front and center, both fiction and non-fiction.
- Opinion: Just stuff that is running through my brain… good things, hard things, annoying things. (my favorite podcasts, making and losing friends as an adult, religious doubt and deconstruction, lists… everyday magic, my favorite things, the best adventures, the funniest things students say, etc.)
What kinds of things would you like to read here? Is there anything I should share on Instagram that isn’t already there? I would love a jolt of creative energy!
Forty Fat and Fabulous 
Hi. I’ve followed you for awhile, as a plus size teacher (who also enjoys fashion and Tieks). What I’m noticing in your blog is a lot of questions about other people- what do we want, what will we like, etc. Maybe the question should be- what do YOU like, what do YOU want to share- it could be all the above or whatever is on your mind. I don’t think you need to change or post what the viewers want, I think being yourself and posting what YOU like will draw viewers (like me) in.
I’m not an influencer, just one person’s opinion. Also, I read a lot of “shoulds”. Maybe your body also just needed rest this summer. Every day is a new day. At the end of the day, if you don’t want to do something, that’s okay. Sending love.
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Thank you for the encouragement. I guess sometimes I feel like if no one is responding, it’s because I have done something wrong. I know that you are right though.
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What about health things that aren’t focused on getting thin – like lifting weights to be strong, because you want to be strong, or doing yoga because it helps with strength and flexibility and stress relief, or foods that you eat and enjoy because they make you feel strong and well, not because they’re a “low-calorie hack” or whatever? I feel like you’ve posted about doing 5Ks before. Emphasizing that people in larger bodies can and do pursue exercise and fitness goals and being thin doesn’t have to be top of the list would be great.
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You are absolutely right… just joyful movement.
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