Searching For a Fashion Unicorn: Strapless Bras

It’s been a while since I’ve posted… anyone miss me? Every time I get into a routine of posting, school gets crazy. However, summer vacation is on its way, and with it comes more blog time. Yay! I want to do more try-ons, dig back into old series, and start a couple of new ones… starting with my search for Fashion Unicorns.

A Fashion Unicorn is a highly sought but rarely found item. It is a magical, mythical product that would make my life complete, but seems to be elusive. I have searched high and low for these beautiful things, but have had no luck yet. Maybe through creating a series about the things I seek, one of them will magically cross my path.

The first Unicorn I seek? The perfect strapless bra.

Let’s face it… strapless bras are terrible for everyone! They are uncomfortable and a royal pain to actually keep in place. For Plus Size women, wearing one is even more complicated. There really is no bra on Earth that can defy gravity enough to lift and separate my 46DD’s. Going braless is not the solution either… because to have my boobs sunken into my waistband is NOT the right move. However, designers keep making clothes for which wearing a traditional bra is impossible… so what’s a girl to do? Tis quite the Kobayashi Maru!

Option 1: The Bandeau

Or shall I call this the bandage? This stretchy single piece of fabric is more comfortable than a strapless bra. However, it’s not very breathable, creating really lovely sweat pools under the boobs. It also feels more athletic, which doesn’t work well under evening wear and delicate sundresses. It doesn’t squeeze the crap out of me, but it does roll a bit during the day. It’s ok in a pinch, but not a perfect solution.

Option 2: The Convertible

I have a love/hate relationship with this type of bra. I mean, yes, it does work like a traditional bra. However, when used as a strapless bra, there are a lot of flaws. The bra gapes at the top, creating a weird, un-smooth silhouette under clothing. The way my body is built, the bra tends to fold in spots, causing the boning to poke into my skin uncomfortably. These usually come with clear bra straps for subtle support, but I find any visible bra straps to look tacky. Really, it’s the only bra that kind of works… if you’re into medieval torture devices.

Option 3: The Bralette

The idea is that paired with the right outfit, in the right shade, a bralette just becomes a tasteful addition to the outfit. It is, in fact, comfy and can work as a layering piece in some situations. But… see my previous comment about visible bra straps. This just isn’t a look for me.

Option 4: The Sticky Bra

I found this suggestion coming up a lot when discussing formalwear, especially when needing a backless bra. These uncooked chicken breast doppelgängers magically stick to your body and connect together in the middle. I hated everything about this option. I felt very uncomfortable free-swinging in public. I felt totally exposed. After a while, the adhesive started to irritate my skin and felt quite uncomfy. Plus, it definitely did not help with sagging whatsoever. Just say no.

So how in the world am I supposed to wear anything fashionable this summer? The brand doesn’t seem to matter. The style doesn’t seem to matter. There is NO Plus Size strapless bra option out there that works…period. I’d love for you to prove me wrong. Chime in with suggestions below. Better yet, send me a sample to try. I’d love to defy gravity!

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